I’ve always been interested in the role of emotions in our lives. Lots of recent research on the brain and neuroscience has revealed that emotions are a critical factor in our decision making, our physical health, and our mental health. In fact, an entire field of study – called Emotional Intelligence – has emerged out of this inquiry. Unfortunately, there are a lot of messages in our culture and many beliefs from our family upbringing about feelings that makes many people reluctant to explore them, for fear they would be seen as weak – especially men.
I know that for me, when I am aware of and expressing my emotions responsibly, I feel more powerful, more grounded, and more genuine. I am more connected to myself and more open to deeper connections with others, leaving me a more fulfilled human being. One tool that I use regularly as a coach to facilitate emotional release is called “breathwork”. It really helps my students tune into themselves and emotions that they have suppressed over the years and to begin to set themselves free again. I love working with clients during breathwork – watching them reclaim parts of themselves and release long-held burdens from the past. Many of my clients describe it as an experience that leaves them feeling more grounded, more alive and more present. Some even report that their chronic physical pain is gone or reduced greatly.
At the Wright Leadership Institute in the Year of MORE program, we have a whole curriculum on emotional intelligence that teaches people to be in better relationship with their emotions. If you would like a taste of this and to learn how to have a truly Great Life, check out the MORE Life training, at http://morelifetraining.com/.
Beryl
Posts Tagged ‘Great life’
Breathe Your Way to a Great Life!
Sunday, May 9th, 2010 by Beryl Victim or Creator: The Choice is Ours
Thursday, April 15th, 2010 by BerylI recently read a book by Victor Frankl called Man’s Search for Meaning that was so moving I literally had to stop and weep several times while reading it. The story is about Victor Frankl’s life experiences in a concentration camp and is a compelling illustration of the power of our minds to create meaning for ourselves and overcome living as a victim to our circumstances. At first I struggled to see the lessons in it for me, but as I read on I began taking an inventory of the adversity that I had experienced in my lifetime and the meaning that I had ascribed to it. For example, when my daughter was born in 1997 with a birth defect and needed major surgery at 8 weeks old, I believed that I must be being punished for something. Three years later when I had cancer I once again believed that I was being punished for something. I felt like a victim to my circumstances and coped with both situations with denial and victimhood. Since then I have been steeping in the lessons of Personal Power in my classes at the Wright Leadership Institute and Wright Graduate Institute (www.http//wrightliving.com; http://www.wrightgraduateinstitute.org/). I have learned that I ALWAYS have a choice – to either be a victim or a creator of my life. I have chosen more and more to reject victimhood and choose to be powerful and make choices that really are good for me. I am learning to let go of victimhood and blaming others because there is NO chance of my being satisfied from that. I am really liking being the creator of my great life – and I am WAY more powerful!! And people are noticing the difference!!
Coaching or therapy – THAT is the question
Thursday, November 12th, 2009 by BerylI have my dream job, and I don’t meet many other people who can honestly say that. I’m a life coach — but I have an education and experience in therapy and counselling. I have also personally experienced both coaching and therapy. One of the most frequent questions that comes up in my coaching sessions is: what is the difference between therapy and coaching and how do I know which one would most benefit me?
Therapy is based on the medical model – i.e. you have something broken or “wrong” and you need it fixed or cured. Treatment is typically counseling and often medication as well.
Coaching is based on a more holistic model. Everyone is whole and complete. Problems generally arise out of skill gaps – coaches help clients identify and learn the skills they need to have a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Therapists and counselors have an expert/client model and are generally (although not always) more passive. They tend not to share from their own experience with clients and it tends to be a more formal relationship.
Coaches have a more mutual model and are more active – typically sharing their own experiences with the client in the area of conversation. It is a personal relationship for both the coach and the coachee.
Therapy looks mostly backwards into your past and relies heavily on insight and understanding as tools to cure.
Coaches seek to help clients make sense of and understand their past as well, but even more importantly to look forward into the future in a powerful way that helps the client get a vision of what the possibilities are for their life that they had not considered before. Then the coach helps the client create a powerful map, including pathways (or actions steps) – strategically chosen to move the client from point A (the present) to point B (the vision), turning insight into powerful action.
Do you have a story about how coaching has improved your life?
If you want to find out more about how coaching can transform your life – go to http://www.wrightliving.com/coaching/index.php.
12,000 runners; one mouthful of energy goo; and handfuls of gummy bears
Wednesday, October 7th, 2009 by AbbyLast Sunday morning I woke up to go on the longest jog of my life: my first marathon.
I’m not what you would call a runner by trade. I’m not fast, I wasn’t an athlete in college or high school, but somewhere in the last few years I realized I could run a mile, and I thought that maybe, if I could run one mile then I might be able to run two miles, or 5 miles, or – heaven forbid – 10 miles.
Training for and running my first marathon was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. My real goal was just to finish. I knew I would be slow, I knew it would be painful and I would want to give up (and as I ran down the hill of mile 22 – I really wanted to give up), but I also knew that I could do if I set myself up to do it.
I think most of my life is just like a marathon. I set myself up to succeed or fail be simply deciding that I will be a success or failure. Deciding to succeed may not mean I will be the best in the race (my marathon time of 5 hours and 37 minutes can prove that), but I will meet a far greater goal than if I’d never even attempted, worked, and committed to succeeding.
When I think about it, most things in my life are really just mini marathons. At work when I decide that projects I have are going to be difficult or scary, sometimes I choose to fail at them. Perhaps it would be better if I just saw them as I saw my marathon training: a thing that would be hard, require a lot of time and energy, something I would need support to accomplish, but all in all, something that I could do.
Running 26.2 miles isn’t all fun—actually it’s mostly not fun. It hurts, you get stiff, sore, and tired, but that last .2 miles is a rush. The thrill of doing something I thought I couldn’t—pushing myself farther than I’ve ever gone—can’t be matched. I want that every day, in every aspect of my life.
I want everyday to be marathon day.
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