Posts Tagged ‘Personal Growth’

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The Kindness of Strangers – a Cheesy Mix-up

Monday, May 3rd, 2010 by Barb

I was at Whole Foods this week and asked a worker there if they carried “farmer’s cheese.” He said they did not but a kind gentleman quickly took me aside and started dictating directions about where I could get what I needed.

Now it ends up that he thought I was looking for a “pharmacy” rather than “farmer’s cheese” and his directions pointed me to the local CVS pharmacy.

But the point is I was taken aback because he asserted himself so strongly and immediately to help me with what I needed. I’ve worked a lot on my networking skills and one of the things I learned in our networking training was that you give to get. You choose to be of service to others rather than trying to focus on what you need and you end up getting what you need in the end.

I didn’t get my farmer’s cheese but I got something more important – a reminder about noticing the people around me and contributing to them no matter where I am.

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Want to learn some great networking skills? Join Dr. Bob Wright and Dean Delisle for WIN-The Wonders of Intentional Networking – http://www.wrightliving.com/programs/sales/wonders-of-intentional-training.php

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A Coach in Training=A Lifelong Journey

Monday, February 15th, 2010 by Gertrude

All professions require ongoing training to stay on top of their fields. For me as a life coach staying on top of my field actually means a commitment to a lifelong journey of personal growth and development. It is not just about “knowing” what is going on in a certain field and learning new techniques it is about a way of life and growing, stretching and ultimately transforming in every area of my life on an ongoing basis. Daunting!

My bosses, Drs Bob and Judith Wright, have told this to me many times and I understood it as a concept, but honestly minimized its importance over the years until recently. I made erroneous assumptions that because I am “around” it all the time and have a created a life I love I could, well, rest on my laurels and let that carry me.

When I was offered the opportunity to go to an outside training (with a competitor no less) I was resistant and superior. I went into the training with that attitude and not surprisingly didn’t get much out of it for the first day and a half. Not because it wasn’t good, but because I was too busy comparing and being superior. Fortunately, I realized this was getting me nowhere so I chose to engage and really benefited. I also signed up for their next level of training.

It was deciding to go into the next training with full intention to get as much out of it as possible for my own development that I came away personally and professionally transformed. The big theme I worked on was living a life of integrity and I have been working it in all areas of my life. #MORELIFE4YOU# In particular as a coach I am feeling more in integrity. Seeing my gaps and being on my cutting edge is not only making an impact in my sessions it is more fun!

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How Powerful are You?

Friday, January 29th, 2010 by Angela

Drs. Bob and Judith Wright are leading the Personal Power Weekend for the Year of MORE program this weekend. I was thinking about how personal power and transformation are connected. I get so caught up sometimes that transformation is about fixing something or changing it. I realize most of the time there really isn’t anything to fix. Transformation is about learning and growing. It is about being in the moment and responding to this moment- not some past moment. I am discovering it is about exercising my personal power.

They teach that power is the ability to do work. I get a lot of things done. Thus, I would say I exercise a lot of personal power. However, I was beginning to realize that I have way more power that can be utilized and harnessed. I have the ability to scan a situation, hear what is being said, realize where the integrity outs are, the excuses, etc. fairly quickly. When I am present I see a world of possibilities. However, my ability to assert myself often comes with a tone in my voice, condescension to the other person or something else. So, my perspective doesn’t get heard or valued even though the data I am offering is accurate in the moment. I don’t have personal power in those situations and there are costs of various kinds- money, time, reputation, etc.

I am becoming more aware of how I say things and asking for feedback from my peers to support me in transforming and using my power more effectively. Where have you not been effective in personal power and how have you learned?

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Do you talk to the person next to you on the plane?

Thursday, January 28th, 2010 by Barb

I usually don’t. Yesterday I did. For 3 hours straight.

I led a workshop in San Antonio and was flying back to Chicago. On a plane-especially after a training-I usually look forward to burying myself in a book…or sleeping…or getting caught up on emails…or……

…anything except for talking to the person next to me. My old excuses were “I’m tired,” “It’s not productive,” or “They don’t look like someone I want to know.”

The truth was – I was afraid.

I’m comfortable in front of a room of 100 people doing a presentation but having a one-on-one conversation – that’s another story. #PURPOSEDRIVEN#

Don’t get me wrong. I know how to make conversation, connect with people, be sociable. But when I did it I was pretty superficial and being fake was pretty draining. So – I didn’t do it.

Over the last couple of years I’ve been working on being more genuine. And this year – I’ve really decided that to achieve the things I want in life – I not only want to learn these skills – I want to be great at them.

The motivator came for me when Dr. Judith Wright was sharing research from several books talk about how real success is not about innate talent but a learned skill that comes from putting in dedicated practice.

So…I’m practicing! I’m practicing making eye contact more, asking people how they are doing, starting conversations, being real with people when I talk, disagreeing when I disagree…and seeing where it goes.

I didn’t decide to talk have a 3 hour conversation on the plane. I just decided to be real and share myself and ask questions.

My seatmate and I talked about everything from his business in the biotech arena to career skills to parenting to hunting and even dog training! (My only pet is a fish)

It was a blast. I got back to the office after my flight and two co-workers said how good I looked – that I didn’t look like I had just flown in that morning. I gave the credit to my practice – to the 3 hour genuine conversation. More nourishing than a nap and leaves you looking better than a facial!

Now I’m looking forward to my next “practice.”

Have a good plane ride experience? I’d love to hear about it.

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Posted in Career, Leading a Great Life | 2 Comments »

Crunchies or no crunchies, that is the question! – a parenting crash course

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 by Barb

Our one year old son loves crunchies (crackers, puffs, whatever you call them). He has learned how to use sign language to ask for them and when he’s looking for a snack, that’s what he wants. He shoves them in his mouth four or five at a time – a bit of an infant feeding frenzy. The crunchies are like baby crack to him – or so I had been obsessing.

As a new parent, I have to find something to focus on, so this has been my on again/off again silent worry. Does he already have eating issues? After all, I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. Plus I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with him – what if I’ve already corrupted his relationship with food before he has even hit two years old! I’ve traditionally been a staunch carbohydrate addict myself – loving to pull my chair up to a table of potatoes and breadstuffs of any form. Did I pass this on already?

So it’s easy, even at the age of one year, to put all of my food anxiety and food history directly on my child.

But in reality, that’s what it is. My issue – not his. In addition to crackers, my son loves all kinds of foods—fruits and vegetables and meats. He delights in sweet potatoes, green beans, eggs, and even seaweed. He’ll just as readily eat a vegetarian Ethiopian meal off my plate as a pizza. And he doesn’t overeat. In fact, he’s consistently in the 35th percentile for weight.

This is my job as a parent – reclaim my own issues, challenges, feelings, and projections and continue to work on them myself. It’s a huge lesson I’ve learned from my personal growth training at the Wright Leadership Institute. Of course, it doesn’t mean I neglect my son’s diet or don’t pay attention when something’s not working with him. But mainly, my job is to raise myself – and to use my parenting as a mirror for my next piece of growth work.

Won’t it be fun to find out what I learn from my next obsession!

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Business Training vs. Personal Growth Training

Thursday, January 7th, 2010 by Kirsten

What always strikes me as funny is how many times I’ve met with an owner of a company who says to me, “I strongly believe my employees should have business training, but I’m not in to all that personal growth stuff.”  I feel torn after they say it. If I tell him or her that in order to grow their business they need to do more than just the standard business trainings we’ve all been through, they may ask me to leave right then. I want to tell them that in addition to high quality business training, it is imperative for them to learn about their personal blocks and mistaken beliefs that might prevent their companies from growing. If a CEO of a company, lets call him Tom, has a deep underlying belief that life is a struggle you can be sure that that belief is reflected in the success of his company.  Or if Kate, a different CEO, grew up believing everyone around her gets a bigger piece of the pie than her, her company will most likely reflect back those beliefs and not expand as fast as it could.

So the bottom line in my belief is that in order to experience business growth it is worthy and important to engage in “personal growth stuff”.  But do I tell?

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Posted in Business and Executive Coaching, Coaching | 1 Comment »

Listening for those Charge Words!

Monday, January 4th, 2010 by Angela

I was leading follow up session for one of our Peer Empowerment trainings. We were learning about the importance of being more conscious of words that have a charge in them for you. For example, someone may say the word fat and you discover you are no longer listening to what they say. You can only hear the sound that Charlie Brown’s teacher makes.

An individual was talking about a business meeting she was facilitating. One of her colleagues was talking about that he wanted buy in. When she heard the world “buy in”, she immediately was at a former job where her boss talked about wanting buy in. All he really wanted was for people to say they agreed but didn’t care what they did or thought. This upset her significantly. She was not hearing anything that was being said.

She then remembered the training and realized “buy in” is a charge word for her. She shifted her thinking. She started asking questions to better understand what the person wanted. She realized this was a new situation. She discovered there was a strong partnership possibility for her with this colleague on the project. Her colleague wanted to have a team of people all committed to the same result which was what she wanted. It was her remembering and utilizing the new skills she was learning from her training. By tracking her charge words, she was able to create a new outcome.

If you are interested in discovering more about the power of intention speaking and contextual listening you should check out our Peer Empowerment Training. We will be offering one in March 2010. Ask me for more information.

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A Surprise Lesson at the Taj Mahal – Lori Z

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010 by sacredtraveller

Today we visited the Taj Mahal, one of the seven wonders of the world. It was a place I have always wanted to visit. In fact, I thought it was the only place in India I wanted to see. It is a magnificent creation and, according to legend, a strong testament to one man’s love for his wife. But the biggest surprise for me with the Taj Mahal? How much it paled in comparison to the other experiences I’ve had during this pilgrimage!

This is a big lesson for me for two reasons. First, I realize that an impersonal tourist destination does not have the same value for me as deep connection with people. But more important, I realized it is not the site I visit that brings meaning to me at all. I am the one who is responsible for bringing meaning to the site. At the Taj Mahal, I had imagined a fantasy scenario of romantic connection with my husband. Instead, when we arrived, he went his separate way and I sulked in my disappointment rather than being clear about what I wanted and creating it.

In reality, I could have had a deep and meaningful experience but I didn’t choose to create that. These have been big themes for us during this trip – choice and creating my experience. The good news is that this was a huge opportunity to learn more about myself and to create a vision for doing it differently next time. I’m immensely grateful for this opportunity to learn and develop myself.

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Greetings from Haridwar

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 by Angela

Greetings from INDIA

We arrived at the Gaya Tree Ashram. In a room upstairs, we were ushered into the presence of one of the ashram’s spiritual leaders, whom they called “Holy Mother.” Our hosts invited us to step up one by one and ask her for a blessing. I started thinking, “How do I even begin to ask for what I really want?” I was trembling.

In the temporal world, the Holy Mother was a little, old, sweet-looking woman dressed in traditional India garb sitting at a table adorned with offerings and blessings. In the spiritual world, she was divine. She had the warmest eyes that looked right to your soul. She had a sweet and tender yet strong aspect to her, as if she could handle anything. She was limitless and there was a profound energy about her that couldn’t be denied.

I approached her. I started crying as I kneeled before her. I shared that I had lost my husband Phil and my son and that I was now a single mother to my surviving child. I asked her for healing for my heart. She looked at me as I cried and I saw a little tear in the corner of her eye. She beamed at me and said, “They are with you. Don’t worry. We are with you. You are not alone. You will go on. I understand.” I sobbed and she touched my hands and gave me a gift of her affection through ashes and some sweet treats as a physical remembrance of her. However, I have a remembrance of her eyes and her touch that coursed through me.

I walked away moved, inspired and touched. I felt lighter, as if she had radiated a warmth right through my core. I continued to pray throughout the ashram for the karma of Phil’s death to be released. I left there hopeful and as if my pilgrimage was fulfilled.

Blessings – Angela

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Walking the Talk- Leadership

Sunday, December 20th, 2009 by Angela

As a coach, do you really walk the talk? I often ask myself that very question. I was supporting a student of mine. She called me because she was invited to a business meeting. She knew politically it was the right thing to do because people that would be good to network with were going to be there. She had about 5 mins to decide. The problem was she was feeling hurt and angry with her boss about a previous incident.

We talked quickly about it. I was direct with her. I told her she could talk to her boss later about the hurt and anger she had. They had a long standing relationship of honesty and truth. So, I knew that would be all right. I told her to put the hurt aside, knowing that it was still there and go to the event. We didn’t know how important the meeting would be but it didn’t seem like a time to miss it if it were. I also stated I thought she was more scared of the intimacy and possibilities with her boss and other colleagues. That felt more true to me. The upset she was having was valid but being used as an excuse to risk further. She decided to go.

She called me the next day and thanked me for encouraging her. It was a productive meeting. She made some strong connections. She strengthened her relationship with everyone.

It was about a week later I was in a similar situation. I was not going to go to my meeting. All I had to do was think of my student. I knew I had to go just to be integrity with myself. The truth for me was the same, I was more scared of getting closer to the people I would be with. So, in order to be someone who is willing to do what she supports her students to do- I went.

I shared it with my student later. We had a great laugh. So, what do you think- should your coaches be willing to do what they tell you? Do you think they should be honest with you about when they haven’t done what they are telling you to do?

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