Our one year old son loves crunchies (crackers, puffs, whatever you call them). He has learned how to use sign language to ask for them and when he’s looking for a snack, that’s what he wants. He shoves them in his mouth four or five at a time – a bit of an infant feeding frenzy. The crunchies are like baby crack to him – or so I had been obsessing.

As a new parent, I have to find something to focus on, so this has been my on again/off again silent worry. Does he already have eating issues? After all, I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. Plus I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with him – what if I’ve already corrupted his relationship with food before he has even hit two years old! I’ve traditionally been a staunch carbohydrate addict myself – loving to pull my chair up to a table of potatoes and breadstuffs of any form. Did I pass this on already?

So it’s easy, even at the age of one year, to put all of my food anxiety and food history directly on my child.

But in reality, that’s what it is. My issue – not his. In addition to crackers, my son loves all kinds of foods—fruits and vegetables and meats. He delights in sweet potatoes, green beans, eggs, and even seaweed. He’ll just as readily eat a vegetarian Ethiopian meal off my plate as a pizza. And he doesn’t overeat. In fact, he’s consistently in the 35th percentile for weight.

This is my job as a parent – reclaim my own issues, challenges, feelings, and projections and continue to work on them myself. It’s a huge lesson I’ve learned from my personal growth training at the Wright Leadership Institute. Of course, it doesn’t mean I neglect my son’s diet or don’t pay attention when something’s not working with him. But mainly, my job is to raise myself – and to use my parenting as a mirror for my next piece of growth work.

Won’t it be fun to find out what I learn from my next obsession!